Baby and toddler groups

Baby and toddler groups can either be a saviour for a couple of hours or hell. They consist of lots of children playing with various toys, vehicles, books and sometimes different “messy play” whilst the parents or grandparents sit around the outside of the room and watch the chaos unfold. There are a different ways to act as a parent at these groups. Firstly there are those who come to have a coffee and a chat with other parents about their children and can sit back and relax and enjoy their little bit of me time whilst their little one plays happily. Some follow their child around pushing them in different vehicles, encouraging them to build towers or engage in the craft activity that may be available that week. Others spend their time on edge watching their child like a hawk afraid of what child is going to get taken out next by theirs in the red and yellow car they are bombing around the room in! I wish I could go and enjoy my cuppa with Max sleeping peacefully in his pram and Sofia happily playing with the doll and pram she makes a beeline for every time she goes, however this is not the case. Sofia started going to our toddler group not long before her first birthday when she was still grasping the whole walking and would spend her time crawling around. This meant she wasn’t as confident as she is now around older kids. She would play with her toys but as soon as someone would come and try take it off her she would let them. Oh how it has changed. Don’t get me wrong I love how confident she has become but it means I have to be ready to dart across the room when Sofia decides that, even though she wasn’t playing with that particular doll and pram at that moment, no one else can have it. She will fight for that pram and by doing so she will scream and pull the pram whilst I say

‘you have to share Sofia it’s this girls turn’

I secretly hope the child trying to play with this pram gives it up to save the drama and tantrum that is about to unfold.

Last week once I had picked Zac up from school he asked what Sofia had done at toddler group. He wasn’t interested in the normal stuff, he wanted to know if she had fought anyone for a pram or threw herself in the floor in a tantrum. So this was the account I gave him. Sofia spent most of her time defending the pram and doll from anyone else who dared tried to play with it. She would be standing a metre or so away playing with bricks or jigsaws when suddenly her head would whip around. She would stomp over to the pram and make a loud shriek pulling the handle in an attempt to scare the child off. Most of the time it worked and I would have to run over and take it off her and give it to the child but by this point she had put the fear in them and they were no longer interested, the defence had won. However there was one girl as strong willed and determined as Sofia who would not give up. This meant me and her mam would try negotiate with them that the other pram was just as good and they can use that one. Note: I hate toy prams, I vowed I wouldn’t buy Sofia one. She already has a shopping trolley which is pretty much the same thing. She can get her fix of pram wars at toddler group. However her grandmother had other ideas. She returned one day from B & Ms with a pink pram that was for ‘her house’. This pram stayed in our house for several weeks, Sofia loved it. The doll would be in and out, the pram up and down the living room – it drove me insane! So when the opportunity arose that pram was in the car and to the grandparents house never to be seen in my house again. Some people may believe I’m mean, I’m depriving her but truthfully I do not care.

There was one point that Sofia did leave the pram for more than 5 minutes when she noticed the blackboard and chalk. I personally don’t understand why they put out a basket of chalk. Toddlers don’t use it to draw, they use it to attempt to snack on. This is Sofia’s favourite thing to do. She bites down on it and pulls a face of disgust so you think she’s learnt her lesson as I run and take it off her and wipe the bits out her mouth. But less than 5 minutes later she has found more and is snacking again. Eventually my only option is to hide the chalk and deal with a mini tantrum.

Sofia surprised me by heading to the jigsaw area where she proceeded to take all the pieces out, throw them on the floor then swipe out the board and scream to let everyone know she was frustrated by the jigsaw. Everyone looked to see who was causing this noise then the parents looked at me to see if I was going to handle the situation. I head over to help her with it and start helping her put the pieces back but within 10 seconds she’s moved on and I’m left doing it by myself.

I’m lucky this groups changing table is in the room so I can keep one eye on Sofia whilst I change Max. Obviously she chooses this moment when I’m arms deep in baby poo to

get stuck in one of those Little Tikes red and yellow cars.

‘2 minutes darling’

I quickly finish up and attempt to one handed pull her from under the steering wheel whilst trying not to drop her brother. Thankfully I am given assistance to get her out and crisis averted.

The only part of the group where Sofia stays still for long enough for me to make a cup of coffee is snack time. She loves her grub, she also loves other people’s when she has finished her. When those around her start to disperse from the table she sees her opportunity. Leftover raisins, juice and breadsticks are hers. By this point Max is feeding as well so I let her get on with it however once the food on the table has been ransacked enough she starts on the floor. That’s when I have to step in and distract. No one wants their child eaten trodden on raisins and banana.

Its song time and the children excitedly lie down ready for Sleeping Bunnies. Sofia stands on the sidelines with her thumb in the mouth watching the others. Next song, Old Macdonald had a farm, and Sofia’s now ready to be a sleeping bunny so she lies on the floor amongst all the children stomping and dancing around to the current song. She’s in the way but she won’t move. What do I do? Let her get on with it she’s not screaming so I’m happy.

As I told Zac all of this he laughed hysterically at it. He thinks Sofia is so funny. If only he could experience it from my perspective. Don’t get me wrong she is funny but when you have to be the mam you can’t show you think they’re funny or you have no chance. I’m just lucky this week didn’t have the ‘sensory aspect’ or in other words cereal on a table. This may seem like a good idea, the kids can play with it, feel it. No, that’s not what they want to do. They eat it, all of it. Dry cereal. It’s not as bad when it’s not a chocolate coated cereal because if it is you see the evidence all over their face, hands and clothes.

Moral of the story: bin all plastic pink prams, don’t provide toddlers with chalk and messy play does exactly what it does on the tin.