This is us

I’m Esther, a 26 year old mother of three and cricket widow. Boy girl boy, Zac the oldest is 7 and a half (never forget the half), Sofia is 15 months and Maximilian (Max) is 6 weeks old. 

When people first encounter me and my flock I find I get several looks:
1. You don’t look old enough to be out of school never mind have 3 children 

2. Wow you’re brave 

3. You need a good nights sleep

Truth be told I definitely do need a good nights sleep however I am not brave, I am just stupid and need to learn how to properly use contraception. FYI I love my children and would not change having them for the world. 

Having three children especially 2 so close in age (13 and a half months between the 2 youngest) is most days a juggling act. Some days I find myself breastfeeding, mashing potatoes, trying to calm down my 1 year old who is crying for more biscuits hanging off my leg and have the oldest shouting in the background that he needs more to eat even though he has ate the whole contents of the fridge since he came home from school. I swear they don’t eat at school because he comes home starving everyday. It is not a well oiled machine by any means, i don’t think it will ever become that but we all do our best. 

My parenting motto is make it up as you go along and hope for the best. The situations you have to deal with on a day to day basis are not something you have ever really thought about how you would deal with if it happened. For example, a few days ago when my boyfriend was away working (well playing cricket but that’s a whole other story) it was the time of the day which can be the trickiest – bath time. My eldest was complaining of a sore leg so I suggested a nice bath would make it much better but no he knows best. Of course that won’t make it better mam I’m not having one – I was too tired to fight that battle, okay just sit there and watch another episode of Peppa Pig which he claims he doesn’t like and just puts it on for his little sister. So I just had the youngest 2 to bath surely can’t be that difficult. It was all going smoothly until Max (6 weeks old) had enough and as you may know when a newborn has had enough of the bath that’s it. All hell breaks loose and they have a mental breakdown! I was drying Max and attempting to put his clothes on when I popped my head up to see what Sofia was getting up to as she had gone quiet which is always worrying and that was when I saw them. Little bits of blueberries covered in poo! Yes Sofia had quietly pooed in the bath and it was now floating around her and her Mickey Mouse and various other bath toys. Now can I just remind you my newborn is still screaming and now I have to get Sofia out the bath before she starts to pick up her poo if she hasn’t already done it. How do you juggle this situation? What’s the priority? Stopping the crying, making sure Sofia doesn’t wee on the floor before you get nappy on her or dispose of the poo floating in your bath. I never in my life did I think this would ever be something I have to deal with but low and behold this is what parenting throws at you. Note: if you partner isn’t around when this situations occur ensure you take a picture and send them it to show them what they’re missing.

 
I spend quite a lot of time with just my youngest 2 without my boyfriend which is spent mostly wandering around shopping centres or supermarkets. I think let’s go to the Metrocentre it will be a breeze or so I thought. The first time I went there by myself with them it wasn’t how I thought it would be. I parked up, spent 5 minutes getting the double pram out the car and got the children out the car and of course just my luck one had pooed so straight to the baby changing we went. After about 15 minutes in the pram Sofia decided she had had enough and it was time to get out and walk. Now before my oldest started walking I had visions of when this happened to walk alongside each other at a leisurely pace holding hands. If you think this is the case then you are so so wrong. You spend half your time saying ‘come on keep going, don’t sit down there’ and the other half running after them abandoning the pram which then subsequently falls backwards because you have bought too many toiletries in Bodycare and pointless stuff in Primark. Back to Sofia, she doesn’t so much run away yet she just gets distracted by anything on the floor, this day it was a bus ticket but previously it has been black bags of dog poo which she stopped and pointed at saying ‘ba’ for a good 5 minutes whilst I tried to encourage her to carry on insisting that these bags were ‘yucky’ but of course even at that age children never believe you’re right. So Sofia is walking along and Max pipes up demanding he be fed at that exact moment. I sweep Sofia up and attempt to strap her in the pram whilst she thrashes around trying to escape. One of the only things to calm this display of rage down is Skips. Sofia settles instantly and she shovels them in her mouth several at a time. Feeding time for both of them goes surprisingly smooth. I reward Sofia by taking her to the soft play but it’s short lived as we require another trip to the baby changing (the other one this time). One more shop to do and it’s the worst of all – Primark. I’m nearly there and Max starts again. I pick him out and almost instantly he vomits on my neck and shoulder.  Two women walk past and give me a sympathetic look as I struggle to find the muslin cloth in the bag. I clean Max and myself up and head in to Primark because nothing else can go wrong. 3 minutes in and I’m carrying a screaming Max and Sofia is whinging in the pram. 5 minutes later I’ve given up and I’m abandoning my shopping and walking out. We are heading home. Moral of this story – trips out need to be planned better and Primark should be avoided at all costs. 

I’ve mainly written this to give myself something to do whilst Max hangs off my nipple for the majority of the night. I’m hoping it actually gets some views other than my dad and best friends but if not then ‘it is what it is’.